Last week I began to talk about starts, and instead talked about the past. I did it so that I can show you where we drew our line. It seems to never fail that when you make a stand, something will always come up and remind you that you will fail.
For Deanna that was her first drinking relapse. She relapsed one week into her recovery I came home from work to find her passed out on the bed upstairs, and saw an empty wine bottle with a few empty beer bottles downstairs. That scared me. Deanna told me that through her recovery group she was getting support mentally and spiritually, but she was physically ill by not drinking. That is what is known as detox, and can be very severe based on how heavy the alcohol use is.
It was then and there that I decided that I would learn what it took to take care of that physical aspect that Deann was missing.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Carpe Diem !
It will be six months ago this upcoming 27th since my wife Deanna and I started this journey. I wish I could tell you how it ends, but I have a feeling we have only just begun. Before I tell about the begining I have to tell some background.
Deanna and I were married on the 27th of August in 2006. After that we had a pretty normal newlywed type of life. We lived in a small two story condo that we had purchased just before we were married, we had a honeymoon in the Caribean, we went to church, we both worked, we even got a job. All pretty run of the mill stuff, and we were having lots of fun.
Then in 2007 Deanna quit her job. She got anouther one right away though, but she was laid off from that one pretty quick. Once again she got a job and yet again a few months later she was laid off. That was about August of 2008, our happy avarage wedding, started to fall apart. Stress was coming from my parents, Deanna, finance, we started to fall apart. Not as far as divorce, but the slow decay had started and had things not changed, I'm sure divorce was in our future.
I prayed, I dont know what I prayed, but I'm sure it was something like, "God please let us be happy again...", or something silly like that. That was when it all started.
I came home to Deanna one day to her telling me, "We are seeing a counseler, I called him already." I was actually kind of releived, finally someone I can tell to, "Fix my wife please!" Our first counseling session was on a Friday. We talked about how when we get angry there are always bigger issues present, and that we need to face those issues to heal. Good stuff.
That Monday though my wife came to me and asked, "Can you drive me to Celebrate Recovery?" Celebrate recovery is like our church's version of twelve step, for alcoholics, or anyone elses addictions. It floored me. I knew my wife had a drinking problem, and had confronted her many times about it. Little did I know how bad it really was. I asked how much wine she was drinking (she was home alone all day) and she pointed to one of the many 36oz bottles empty in the laundry and said, "One of those."
"One of those how often? A week?"
"A day."
"A Day!!! Thats like eight glass a night."
"Yes"
All this time I had thought that she just liked to go to bed early, instead she was passing out. She told me that one later. I drove my wife to her first 12 step group that August night, six months ago. Thats when this all started.
Ill tell some more later
Deanna and I were married on the 27th of August in 2006. After that we had a pretty normal newlywed type of life. We lived in a small two story condo that we had purchased just before we were married, we had a honeymoon in the Caribean, we went to church, we both worked, we even got a job. All pretty run of the mill stuff, and we were having lots of fun.
Then in 2007 Deanna quit her job. She got anouther one right away though, but she was laid off from that one pretty quick. Once again she got a job and yet again a few months later she was laid off. That was about August of 2008, our happy avarage wedding, started to fall apart. Stress was coming from my parents, Deanna, finance, we started to fall apart. Not as far as divorce, but the slow decay had started and had things not changed, I'm sure divorce was in our future.
I prayed, I dont know what I prayed, but I'm sure it was something like, "God please let us be happy again...", or something silly like that. That was when it all started.
I came home to Deanna one day to her telling me, "We are seeing a counseler, I called him already." I was actually kind of releived, finally someone I can tell to, "Fix my wife please!" Our first counseling session was on a Friday. We talked about how when we get angry there are always bigger issues present, and that we need to face those issues to heal. Good stuff.
That Monday though my wife came to me and asked, "Can you drive me to Celebrate Recovery?" Celebrate recovery is like our church's version of twelve step, for alcoholics, or anyone elses addictions. It floored me. I knew my wife had a drinking problem, and had confronted her many times about it. Little did I know how bad it really was. I asked how much wine she was drinking (she was home alone all day) and she pointed to one of the many 36oz bottles empty in the laundry and said, "One of those."
"One of those how often? A week?"
"A day."
"A Day!!! Thats like eight glass a night."
"Yes"
All this time I had thought that she just liked to go to bed early, instead she was passing out. She told me that one later. I drove my wife to her first 12 step group that August night, six months ago. Thats when this all started.
Ill tell some more later
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